The Big Peace

There’s much been written about ‘toxic friends’ but I do think
that’s a bit of cop out. It makes it sound like you’ve got nothing
to do with it. When we find ourselves spending time with people who
are horrible to us or manipulate or don’t value us, we are
allowing that to happen.

If this Christmas, you find yourself around people who are rude or
‘jelly-fish’ you, use it as a wake up call to create strong
boundaries or ‘rules’ around people that you love and who say they
love you.

Say it with a smile but be firm: ‘I know this is all about me but
I don’t like it/it hurts my feelings when you say
that/do that/are late all the time….it makes me feel you don’t value
me…can we agree that you…..and make a specific request (don’t
speak to me like that/don’t call me a bad mother/are late any more)

If the person continues to exhibit behaviour that makes you feel
awful, make the decision to choose to spend time with people who don’t.
Choose to spend time with people who want nothing more to boost you versus
drain you. You have a choice who you spend your time with.

Tomorrow, we’ll look at strategies for coping when circumstances dictate
that you have to spend your Christmas day with people you don’t like
and who don’t like you!