The Big Peace

Christmas can be an incredibly social time but can also leave you feeling weirdly lonely. You might have lots of friends, be constantly surrounded by people or get ten virtual ‘pokes’ a day on Facebook – but still feel alone.

Why? Because you feel disconnected and I believe connection is fundamental to our happiness. So I want you to give you a couple of strategies today for connecting and reaching out in the holiday season.

BE VULNERABLE When you reach out for connection with someone, on some level, you’re asking for acceptance. There is always a possibility of disinterest or even rejection so every time you reach out to someone you have to be willing to make yourself vulnerable.

BE BRAVE Be willing to lay yourself a little bit bare. That’s perhaps why these social networking sites are popular because you don’t necessarily have to do that – you can almost create a persona, present the funny or beautiful photo, and edit your bad bits and highlight your best bits. It’s friendship-lite! In real life, however, that’s a little harder to do and usually exhausting to keep up (and be around). Scientific research shows that the quickest way to create intimacy with someone is self disclosure – stop pretending to be perfect and just tell people how human you are.

STOP TALKING AND START LISTENING People who connect with others brilliantly, listen the most. Dale Carnegie wrote the cult classic How to Win Friends and Influence People and shared an anecdote about how he sat next to a scientist at an event. Carnegie just kept asking him questions and got the scientist to open up. Whenever there was a lull in the conversation, Carnegie would ask another question. At the end of the event, the scientist went up to his host and proclaimed that Carnegie was the most interesting man he’d ever met! Carnegie writes: “You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. Which is just another way of saying that the way to make a friend is to be one.”

P.S Don’t forget the Big Peace Live programme starts 1st February http://thebigpeace.com/the-big-peace-live-programme/