The Big Peace

It’s all a bit of a rollercoaster isn’t it? I’ve just got back from camping with my son and found myself sleeping under the stars and getting some perspective. All this angst, all this drama, all this he did/she did/I did what to him over there. It’s all the ego mind building huge stories that keep us stuck on the treadmill of being someone/doing something special/being respected/approved of/holding on to something that was never ours in the first place.

I think I’ve exhausted myself over the past few weeks with it all! I haven’t included it in my book but I should have – just lying on an airbed looking at the stars certainly gives a moment’s pause to all the mind’s grasping/grasping/grasping for more/better/more.

And it’s that moment’s pause that I certainly need to work on. Again it’s back to that second by second practice. The mind (or what I call the Inner Pessimist) seduces you/terrifies you with his stories. I get hooked so easily. I’m in the drama before I know it. My mother always told me I was a drama queen.

The trick is, I’m learning, is to pause. And observe. I’ve had a few ‘ah, bless’ moments about myself as I see myself get tied up in knots about something and nothing. And in the observing, something softens. And you can be kinder, more compassionate with yourself. It’s going back to one of the exercises in my book. Rather than going to war with your Inner Pessimist or  resisting him/believing him, you simply see or hear his voice as that of a terrified child. So you comfort him rather than sending him to his room.

This is the visualisation exercise. This is what I’m going to be working on in the next few days (rest of my life). Care to join me?

Imagine your Inner Pessimist as a little boy or girl – a child of around 6 to 8 years old. I want you to imagine that you are seeing the world and life through this 6-year-old’s eyes. What is your Inner Pessimist afraid of?

Rather than fighting with, chastising or sending this child to his or her room, I want you to imagine your Inner Coach comforting your little Inner Pessimist child. I want you to give that little child the comfort and love and encouragement he or she needs to stop feeling afraid and feel safe again.

No, there really is a monster under the bed, honest.

I want you to imagine you can hear the scared ramblings of a little child, and imagine your Inner Coach comforting that child. What does your Inner Coach say? How is it said? How can this scared little child in your head be comforted?

Your Inner Pessimist is scared. Scared witless So start being reassuring. You’ll be amazed at what happens when you do. Get your Inner Coach to look your little Inner Pessimist right in the eye and offer plenty of hugs and comfort until your Inner Pessimist stops being afraid.

This visualization works because when you allow your Inner Coach to comfort your Inner Pessimist, you are lighting up the prefrontal lobes of your brain and showing compassion and love for yourself. According to medical psychologists, it’s physiologically impossible for your mind to be scared while at the same time generating love and compassion.